Crashing Down
by IRunIWriteILive
Summary: Alex has a bad feeling. An officer involved shooting producing one fatality and one injured leads the ADA on a very emotional rollercoaster ride as she struggles to find out if her Detective is still alive.


_Overdone as this topic is, I'm going to do a one-shot about it anyway. _

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><p>Alexandra Cabot was in court when it happened. It wasn't something that she could easily identify, not a message from a bailiff or one of the detectives sitting in the galley. Not an urgent text or a phone call, not even a snippet of conversation overheard while a witness left the stand. No, it was a gut feeling, something innate and intrinsic, just a gut feeling that something was very, very wrong.<p>

However gut feelings come and go, so the blond prosecutor dismissed the stomach churning, gut twisting feeling as a bad lunch. She tried to focus on her cross –examination, the defendant had idiotically agreed to place himself on the stand and even being only half focused, Alex was destroying him. The usual triumph was lacking in her eyes though as she said "No more questions, the prosecution rests your honor."

Instead she fiddled with the pen, spinning it in her fingers over and over again, trying her best to focus on the proceedings in court, but failing. It was only when Judge Donnelly said "Counselor!" rather sharply that Alex looked up and realized that all eyes were on her.

Taking a stab in the dark she said "Objection."

It was perhaps the oldest trick in the book, rule number one, if you loose track of the proceedings and the judge brings your attention back, say objection.

"Granted." Donnelly said, sending a stern glance in Alex's direction.

It was twenty minutes later, after Judge Donnelly had excused the court into recess until the following morning, that Alex finally knew that this was not just any 'bad lunch' reaction. It took her forever to pack up her things, the internal battle she was waging with her emotions wrecking havoc on her ability to focus on the task at hand. One part of her wanted to call both her siblings, parents and Olivia, just to make sure that they were all okay, while the other knew that she needed to stay focused, ignore this feeling, and get ready for her next session in court, which was only an hour away. Deciding to try and work through this, plus her phone had died in her office that morning, Alex settled on going to get a quick lunch in.

As she walked down the steps, towards the entrance to the courthouse that she bumped into Trevor Langan "Alex" he said, with a surprised expression on his face "I'm surprised your still here."

"Why?" Alex replied, immediately on edge, Trevor knew that she was in court in fifty minutes, he was the defense attorney "Why wouldn't I be in court?"

"You didn't hear?" he asked, cocking his head "Officer involved shooting, with one fatality and one injured in Hell's Kitchen. Rumor has it that it was the sex police that were the involved part. I just thought that you might be down there, rather than in the court room."

Alex immediately began to panic, however after growing up with two brothers she had learned to mask her emotions quite extraordinarily. After forcing the panic to a small aprt of her brain she began to wonder why Langan would suspect that she would be _that _concerned with the SVU detectives. Sure, she was friendly with all of them but to the extent that would warrant her to _skip _court, well that would mean being personally involved with one of them. Not that she wasn't involved with one of them, Olivia Benson and herself, Alex, had been in a very committed, confusing, complicated, completely worth it, relationship for seven and half months now. The problem was that no one, with the exception of Captain Cragen and Elizabeth Donnelly, knew about this relationship and those two had only been told out of necessity "I would loose my job if skipped out on a bail hearing simply to check on the status of my detectives." Alex said, putting on her best Ice Princess act, but on the inside she was quickly loosing control of her panic.

Now, the fact that this was coming from Treovr normally would have been taken with a grain of salt but suddenly Alex remembered the search warrant she had gotten for the squad only that morning, for an apartment in Hells Kitchen.

Trevor Langan shrugged "You're a lot colder than a I thought." He said "I'll see you in court Alex." He said, turning away from her and walking down the long hallway towards the courtroom where he and Alex would later be arguing bail.

As soon as he was out of sight, Alex made a one hundred and eighty degree turn and began walking, very quickly in the direction of Judge Donnelly's chambers because right now Alexandra needed a phone. She knocked twice before hearing the "Come in." that was so customary of the long time attoney and recently appointed/elected, judge.

Alex flung open the door and blurted out "Can I use your phone?"

To say that Liz was surprised to see Alexandra Cabot standing in her office, breathing rapidly and a panicked look in her eyes, would be an understatement. But she quickly came to realize that this was not so much a legal emergency, as a personal one and Liz quickly shed the stern exterior that she wore for the court room.

She had known Alexandra since birth and had watched as the determined, driven, slightly rebellious and rambunctious, teenager had morphed into a domineering, confident prosecutor for the special victims unit "Of course." She said, still not sure as to why Alex needed to use _her _phone.

Alex dialed the number that she knew by heart and waited, her heart racing, as the phone rang one , two, three, four, five times before going to voicemail _"This is Olivia Benson, leave a message at the tone." _

"Shit." Alex said and she felt herself loosing it but she dialed again.

"_This is Olivia Benson, leave a message at the tone." _

"No, no, no." Alex moaned softly, she _needed _Olivia to pick up, to hear her voice, to reassure Alex that she was safe, that she was not the fatality.

"Alex." Liz said, placing a hand on the shaking blonds' back "What's going on?"

Turning to look at her mentor and friend, Alex took a deep breath, composing herself "There has been an officer involved shooting in Hells Kitchen and that's where SVU is. One injured." She said "And, and one fatality."

Liz knew by "SVU", Alex meant "Olivia", and she also knew that while Alex was passionate about her work, and protective of her friends, nothing meant more to the woman than the brown haired SVU detective "Take a deep breath and sit down."

Alex complied, her heart pounding and tears threatening to overflow her crystal blue eyes "Liz." She said "She needs to pick up."

Liz nodded, right now Alex needed to be calm, she needed to not go racing off to a scene where the crux of her life might very well be dead, right now Liz needed to present a realistic situation to Alex "You've been at an officer involved shooting before." Liz said "IAB is everywhere, the media is already descending down upon you. Olivia's probably fine, just not in a position to call you."

Alex nodded, this was the most likely scenario and a very plausible situation, one that she should try to convince herself was the truth. However the '_what ifs' _were a lot more terrifying, and a lot more real than what Liz had just presented her with.

Slamming her finger on the redial button she waited, and waited, until _"This is Olivia Benson, leave a message at the tone." _Met her ears

Removing her phone gently from Alexandra's hands, Liz dialed a number "Lieutenant Tucker, this is Elizabeth. You owe me many, many favors and I'm using them all right now." Her tone was sharp and demanded a certain amount of respect from the man on the other end of the line "You're at an officer involved shooting right now and I need you to tell me who the fatality was."

"_I can't, Liz, I'm sorry. Orders from on high told me to keep my trap shut." _

"Bullshit." Liz said, getting up from her seat and walking towards the door, lowering her voice the next time she spoke "You are on high in your department, you just enjoy the power."

"_That comment makes me even less inclined to tell you Elizabeth."_ IAB officer Tucker said, sneering.

Liz let out a long, angry sigh, no one particularly liked IAB, but she had granted then certain search warrants and been lenient with the evidence they brought to trial on a number of occasions, for instances like this one. But apparently Tucker was a bastard, no more favors in her court, she decided and hung up without another word.

Alex, who had not been listening to the conversation, was now staring at the T.V. screen where a female news anchor was standing in front of a grimy apartment complex, she was saying "-where Special Victims Unit officer stormed the previously convicted rapists apartment. The suspect, Adam Berth, opened fire on the detectives and from what were understand killed one, while severely injuring another. The names of the officers are yet to be released but an ambulance, destined for Memorial Hospital, left the scene a few minutes ago. This is Diane Marks, and we will continue to update you as we receive more information."

Alex turned, she was due in court in ten minutes but right now, right now her girlfriend might be dead, right now Alexandra Cabot was in no fit state to argue bail "Go." Liz said, placing a hand on Alex's arm "I'll get Casey to cover the case for you."

Alex nodded disjointedly, knowing that she would owe both Elizabeth Donnelly and Casey Novak in the future for this, however right now she had a one track mind.

A few minutes later Alex was in the car and the radio was playing, not because she wanted to listen to the music, or the news, but because she knew that if she was left in the relative silence of her car, then she would go mad with the _what ifs_.

The traffic on the bigger streets was forcing Alex to use her extensive knowledge of the side streets of New York City to weave her way through to Memorial Hospital where she parked the car, illegally, and not caring if she got towed, or even if the car was stolen at this point, ran inside to the ER.

The bright lights and masses of people inside the ER were not helping in Alex's search for a familiar face, body, someone that could help her. As she walked quickly, it began to dawn on her that most of these people were paying attention to a single activity taking place at the ambulance entrance to the emergency room.

Unable to force her way any closer to the front of the throng Alex leaned against the wall, the tears finally spilling over and rolling down her face. Fate, so it seemed, was against her. She didn't know if the love of her life was alive, dead, injured, what? She didn't get why it was seemingly impossible for her to know if Detective Olivia Benson was the single fatality from the search warrant that she, Alexandra Cabot, had provided.

The tears were still rolling down her face but the emergency room was so crowded due to a fire ravaging an apartment complex a few miles away that no one seemed to notice the distressed woman. Not until Alex heard someone call her name.

She lifted her head and scanned the people, but she didn't see the speaker, then, in a moment of silence, one of those awkward ones, where everyone goes quiet for no reason, she heard it again "Alex!"

She turned and saw, battling the crowd, Fin. Making a bee-line for the detective, she reached him, only after stepping on a few peoples toes and elbowing someone in abdomen (on accident) "Fin." She said, searching his face for an answer.

Before he could give one, Alexandra's blue eyes landed on Olivia. The normally composed detective looked ashen as she walked out of an exam room, her arm bandaged and in a sling. Tear tracks were clear on her face and she walked as if in a trance "Liv." Alex gasped and Olivia looked up.

The sight of her blue eyed love, so obviously distraught ripped at Olivia's heart and she wrapped the ADA in a tight embrace, Alex crying into the detective good shoulder softly as Olivia repeated "I'm okay. I'm right here." Over and over again.

Finally stepping back from each other, Alex dared to ask "Who?"

Olivia looked like she was about to cry again and Fin looked away, he would grieve properly later, in private "Munch." Olivia whispered and the tears spilled down her face "Bastard got him in the chest, bled out en route to the hospital."

Fin cursed, running his hands across the top of his head, the pain of loosing his partner, the responsibility he felt for both Munch's death and Olivia's injury threatening to overwhelm him. He turned and looked at Liv "I gotta go." He said "IAB wants my statement."

Olivia nodded, Agent Tucker was indeed now visible through the throng of people "I'll find you later." She said and Fin nodded, although both knew that it was a lie, Fin needed to grieve in private, let out his rage and sorrow without the eyes of anyone else.

"I-" Alex began "I was so worried." She said quietly, as they moved out of Agent Tuckers line of vision and a private looking hallway "I heard about the shootings and, and phone was dead, and you weren't picking up." She let out a long sigh, the tears spilling down.

The women embraced again, Olivia's unspoken words of reassurance as well as, the feel of her heartbeat against Alex's chest, the feeling of her hand on Alex back, soothing her, allowed Alex to calm down enough to say "I love you so, so much Liv."

"I know." Olivia repeated "I love you too."

The two women kissed, not caring if the entire New York Police Department saw them, the kiss was passionate and while both women knew the future before them would be heartbreaking, they would get through it together. Alex would reassure Olivia that the brunette wouldn't turn to the bottle to cope and Olivia would guide Alex through the nightmares. Together, they would survive.

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><p><em>It's late. This idea popped into my head as more of a "Liv may be hurt and Alex doesn't know" type fic, but evolved into this. Please excuse any spelling and grammar errors, as they are my own. <em>

_Anyway I will be at orientation for two days and will be unable to get to a computer so updates and review replies will wait until Tuesday night/ Wednesday morning. Reviews are apprecaited, Snickers Bars are also accepted. Thanks. _

IRunIWriteILive


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